i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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