dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
