it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
