How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
