one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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