Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
