that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
