I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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