well you can't waste a boner
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
