my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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