why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you traded sex for a burrito?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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