pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize