you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
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Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
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I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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