no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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