are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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