I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
