let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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