did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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