I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
