just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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