Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
