I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
