He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Randomize
