in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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