Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
