now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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