I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize