do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Floor bacon is actually really good
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
