I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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