a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I wish I could teleport
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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