i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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