you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
