i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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