so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
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