After last night, I could never be a politician.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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