Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
