YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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