I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
