2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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