I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
