shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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