why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
