I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
