im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
