I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
