Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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