she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize