cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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