if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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