My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
