absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
