Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
