Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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