Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
