dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
