My hand turned me down
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We had sex on a dog bed..
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
