Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
