I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
