Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
