i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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