Where is the hickey?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
