When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
