Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
